AHHHH…. we are getting super personal and vulnerable today my friends…. so here goes.
Let’s cut right to it.
Most of us spend the majority of our young lives doing all that we can to prevent pregnancy.
And then, all of a sudden, like a freight train coming to a screeching halt…one finds themselves in a position where the prospect of creating a miniature version of themselves…
In my case, I met the love of my life, got married, and…. like the cliche playground song goes “first comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage”….
For many of us, this moment is an especially strange feeling. Switching our mindset from preventing pregnancy to dreaming about it… is a trip, y’all. A 360 turn in every way possible.
Do we, personally, want a child this instant?
No, nope, nah, nix, nay.
However, in the next year or two, we would love to be parents. More than anything else in the world, to be quite frank.
So here is the rub…
Because most of us have solely focused on avoiding pregnancy for the majority of our lives, many of us (myself included) don’t know much about fertility and actually becoming pregnant/maintaining a healthy pregnancy.
Therefore, a lack of knowledge regarding the prospect of having children, elicits crazy fears within. Concerns you never knew you had… until BOOM…you’re there…
Some of them include:
What if I can’t get pregnant?
What if we miscarry?
What if my child or pregnancy has major complications?
What if I face post-partum depression?
How old is ‘too old’ to get pregnant?
The list goes on, and if you have been in this situation… you can relate.
But what if I told you there was something you could do, to alleviate aforementioned anxiety…?
Because… there is.
Which has inspired me to share what I have done to take charge of my fertility, health, and mental well being….
(Please note: I am NOT A DOCTOR, and am not qualified to give medical advice. This post is simply sharing my personal experiences thus far. Also, I am under the care of a physician)
1. Modern Fertility– an at home fertility test, for any woman.
Aka God’s gift to empowered females everywhere. This is an at-home blood test of dreams. The best part? Even if you do not want kids now, but maybe want them in 10 years… or just want to know more about your body…it is the perfect way of figuring our your options…and a realistic baby-makin’ timeline.
Knowledge is power, ladies. Take charge of your fertility, and know where you stand.
So how does the test work?
Simple. Everything is provided in a small box with easy to follow instructions. It is literally this convenient….
After mailing in your sample, the turn around time is insanely speedy (like one week!). A result link is sent directly to your inbox, when the processing is complete. I should add, Modern Fertility has extraordinarily helpful customer service, should you need assistance.
Modern fertility provides a comprehensive amount of physician-reviewed information. I wanted to share my personal results, and these are only a portion of them.
I was so nervous to view my results… not going to lie. BUT they calmly reassured me, this test is only a baseline. The perfect starting place in understanding what is going on inside. I found out that my testosterone level was the only hormone out of ‘normal’ range, which I will be discussing with my doctor. Everything else was right where it should be, YEY!!
After getting the results, a free call with a fertility nurse can be scheduled to better understand your next steps. How cool is that?!
The kit retails at $199.00 and is completely worth it, especially those of us who do not have great insurance. If I were to to these tests in office, it would be hundreds of dollars. My doctor actually recommended Modern Fertility to me.
Keeping this in mind, the folks at Modern Fertility have been so generous to offer my readers $10.00 off! By clicking here or on any of the pictures in this post, you can get your kit for $189.00!
Get one, girl.
Another way I am preparing my body for the marathon, that is pregnancy, is through the use of PreMama supplements.
(Feel free to use my code: KATIEW15 for 15% off your order)
If you are thinking about pregnancy, taking a good prenatal vitamin at least 3 months before trying to conceive is suggested. PreMama’s is the perfect option. It comes in a capsule or gummy form.
They also have a system of supplements for women which can be used before, during, and after pregnancy. I am currently using the ‘birth control cleanse’ supplement. I will then transition into the step 2 ‘conceive’ supplement, when we are ready.
When I am pregnant (eventually) I will use the ‘carry’, followed by the ‘care’ supplements after giving birth. They have pre-mamas and mama’s alike – totally covered!
Because teamwork makes the dream work… especially when it comes to reproduction, PreMama has future Dads covered too. Get ya’ man on some baby makin’ supplements, gals.
Bonus: This product could also double as a *hint, hint I’m ready to talk about having a baby* gift under the tree this year… 😉
Well friends, there you have it. Our honest and personal pre-pregnancy journey thus far … I do feel highly vulnerable writing about this chapter of our lives. There are countless unknowns which lie ahead.
But, I’m glad I did.
This blog has always been about ‘being real’, and I’ll never skimp on that.
I truly hope this post reaches someone who may be looking for answers, or is feeling unsure of how to take charge of their reproductive health.
Thanks for tuning in!
It has been a hott M.I.N.U.T.E. since I have written anything (…I feel like I start out every post like this lately…). But you know what? Sometimes that’s perfectly OK.
Let me tell ya’ why….
No joke, – my life for the past year has been a freaking fairy tale. I thoroughly enjoyed the process of planning a wedding, celebrating (*a lot*) along the way, and ultimately marrying my dude. Lucky– does not even begin to cover it. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t holding my breath- waiting for a shoe to drop. I realize, this euphoric state will not last forever. Undoubtedly- there will be extreme lows ahead…BUT the magic of this year-and-a-half engagement will be something I treasure forever. The memories of this joyous time will warm my heart- even in the darkest of times.
A major thanks to anyone reading this, who helped to make us feel loved and special during this time (even by sending us positive thoughts)- you are so appreciated. Seriously. Hat’s off. Cue the applause.
In turn, the reason why I have not been writing- is because I have just been LIVING.
Living in the moment- happily.
Something I suggest everyone tries.
Life ebbs and flows. And even if you are going through a ‘dull state’ or a ‘rough patch’ right now,…there is still time to stop and smell the roses.
Guys, there are always roses to be smelled… even if they seem poo-covered sometimes. For example, if you’re reading this right now, you woke up today, amiright??
BOOM, thasssa rose hun.
(Smell it, boo-thang…& yes I am talking to YOU.)
I know I am dramatic, and seriously- eye roll away (permission granted). However, I have found that by taking a second, and focusing on ‘living’…rather than just ‘existing’…anyone’s situation can be improved. If that means taking a social media hiatus, or bingeing a Netflix show for a day (to forget about the world)- that’s totally cool. Focus on you for a minute and see how much it helps.
Wisdom. There ya go- my transcendent moment. Take or leave it man, – I am not offended.
You made it this far! Good news. …the deep stuff is over, now we can move on to the fluffy fun stuff.
As the wedding is now done, – and I float back down to earth- attempting to return to normalcy (not very gracefully, I should add)- I am able to tend to the things, which I have willingly neglected.
LIKE…catching up on the old blog-ski. 😉 So, here we are.
For my first post ‘back’ in awhile- I wanted to share my bachelorette party festivities with you!
Now,… a ‘stereotypical’ bachelorette party involves phallic imagery, and extreme quantities of alcohol consumed. Not that there is anything wrong with that, BUT it is not my vibe (I’ve somehow become a 28 year-old-grandma, btw). Since this party was lovingly planned by my younger & sassier little sister…I was a BIT worried by what she had planned… Visions of unwanted lap dances, and unsolicited phone numbers danced in my head….
But, boy was I wrong… it was better than I could even dream.
She planned something that was so ‘Katie’ (as she said). She absolutely put herself aside and organized something that she knew I would love, even though she would have wanted to do something more risque…
Best sister award!
We began the evening with a winery tour and tasting at a local place that I frequent often…probably too often… 😉 She knows me SO well…. the girls and I had a blast. Also, our tour guide was unexpectedly hilarious. We were rolling by the end of the tour. Good hire, Cedar Creek Winery.
Bonus attendee: My dad or ‘Our Captain’ was sweet enough to rent a bus and drive us around- he was a hit.
We then headed home for drinks, appetizers, macaroni and cheese, sandwiches, and salads catered-in from my favorite spot. Such a win. My sister (knowing my love for anything cozy and comforting) had monogrammed sweatshirts made for us and had set up the prettiest decor!
We ate, drank, and lounged- in style 😉 Absolute perfection.
My mom’s contribution (besides opening her entire home to us 😉 ) were these gorgeous handmade makeup bags! She is an extremely talented seamstress- with an even bigger heart. Everyone loved them! Such a sweet touch.
Oh & (NBD) she also ETCHED everyone’s initial onto a wine glass. I need to start calling her Martha from now on. She is #momgoals for real. If you’re jealous- I get it, my mom is the best.
& finally, what’s a bachelorette party without some silly pictures?
What a lovely and memorable day. (I told you it was better than a dream)
I hope you enjoyed this post- and just remember to take time and LIVE (like really, actually, truly LIVE) your life. Find a rose to smell, they are all around us.
Also… don’t I have the best (and prettiest) friends ever?!
I think so too.
Comin’ atcha with some wedding realness today, y’all. Believe me- this post has not been sugar coated whatsoever…so buckle up, buds…because…you’re here for it.
As most of you know, I am getting married in the fall of this year. Through this process, however, I have realized the following…
Wedding planning is not always sunshine, butterflies, and rainbows…the movies have got us played, guys. In fact, weddings illicit COUNTLESS emotions…some beautiful…some incredibly ugly. This process has also made me think, “if I am not jumping for joy, beaming with happiness every second of the planning process…
Is there something wrong with me”!?
Am I ungrateful?
Am I just ‘too emotional’?
Am I a ‘bridezilla’ for being particular?
Are my feelings valid?
Why do I feel guilty for having any negative feelings during this joyous time?
I know that most brides-to-be have struggled during the planning process- at some point- with an array of issues. I also feel that this is RARELY discussed…
Which leads me to my current project:
…addressing the not-so-glamorous aspects of planning a wedding….
Today we’re starting with: Invitations: who should/shouldn’t I invite to my wedding?
One reader wrote the following message:
“Hi Katie, we are getting married in December and have been struggling with our guest list. It seems like we’re offending EVERYONE with who we are/are not inviting. There are also a few people that we feel obligated to invite- but don’t want to, because they haven’t been there for us. Should we just invite them to avoid drama? Do you have any advice on where to draw the line? Or are there any ways to simplify making a guest list? Thank you”!
My response: In short- yes I do.
But please understand, although I am genuinely flattered that readers feel comfortable asking for my input… I AM NOT A PROFESSIONAL wedding planner. This is simply my personal advice, and what has worked for us. Take it as you will.
Here are my top 3 tips for simplifying your guest list:
Don’t (for the love of God) invite ANYONE to your wedding who doesn’t actually support you.
This sounds pretty stupid and like basic common sense, right?
Trust me, as you plan your wedding there WILL BE people you feel obligated to invite, and wonder if you should, just to ‘keep the peace’. These individuals could be anyone. A second cousin, a co-worker, a neighbor…it could even be an estranged parent or sibling. These are people that you feel HAVE to be invited, but for a valid reason, you don’t feel comfortable doing so. And honey, I am here to tell you that…
YOU DON’T HAVE TO INVITE THEM…(if you’re eye-rolling…just hear me out.)
Seriously. You heard me correctly. YOU DON’T HAVE TO INVITE PEOPLE THAT DON’T SUPPORT YOU, TO YOUR OWN WEDDING. It can be that simple. This is YOUR wedding. Ain’t nobody got time for haters- especially on their freaking wedding day. *Ahem* see complicated diagram below for assistance.
See? Easy peesy-amiright?…(OK, OK…I know it’s far more complicated than that…keep reading though…I got you.)
Folks, it is incredibly empowering to set boundaries, and stop doing things just to appease others. Making decisions regarding your wedding is the perfect opportunity to do this. Setting a standard of complete joy for your wedding day is OK. Eliminating people from your list who don’t fit that standard is OK. If people do not truly love, support, and wish you well…why in the HELL would you invite them to come to your wedding and nitpick, rather than support? Planning your special day takes an incredible amount of thought, time, money, and energy. Why waste it on someone who is unfit?
Will there be backlash for this decision? Most likely. And guess what? That’s OK, too. If you do make some tough cuts to your list…be prepared that these choices will probably be met with hostility (duh). Also…know that choosing not to invite someone to your wedding could end the relationship. Ultimately, if it was a toxic relationship to begin with- they are the only ones missing out, and a falling out was inevitable. Weddings are often the catalyst which make valuable relationships stronger, and weeds out the weak ones. (I’ll bet you didn’t know Darwinism applied to wedding planning, did ya?)
One more thing, seriously… listen up. Please don’t take this ‘cutting down your guest list’ suggestion to the extreme. I am NOT advocating that you run around like a 5 year old child with scissors, shredding up your guest list. AKA don’t cut your aunt Agnes who you just ‘don’t like’ because she smells funny. You need to keep her on the list, cuts are ONLY MADE for valid reasons.
For the sake of humor, here are a few hilarious examples of people who you are definitely not ‘obligated’ to invite to your wedding. These are the types of peeps who should only be allowed to creep on your wedding photos…via facebook…
That step sibling who has never congratulated you on your engagement or met your significant other ?…NOT INVITED.
That cousin who hasn’t talked to you in years, and upon your engagement reaches out- only to sell you insurance?…NOT INVITED.
That ‘friend’ who stalks you on social media- only to talk poorly on your behalf?…NOT INVITED.
Your sister’s boyfriend who you aren’t a fan of?
NOT INVITED….OK, OKKK if your sister is IN your wedding…you probably havvve to invite her significant other… edit: BARELY INVITED*.
So there you have it, friends. My #1 rule…so simple in theory…yet so difficult in practice. Please know that YOUR UNION IS WORTH CELEBRATING. Be bold when deciding whom you allow into your lives together. Bad company corrupts good character, and you are royalty, my loves. Remember this always, and surround yourself accordingly.
**Side note: If you need even more clarification on people who don’t deserve an invite to your big day…keep scrolling until you find my post titled “Pay Attention to Those Who Don’t Clap When You Win”. You should be good to go after that.
WHEW…that was long…onward!
2. Start with your “MUSTS” when creating your list.
My fiance and I began putting our guest list together- in separate rooms. He made a list of his ‘absolutely have to invite’ guests, and I did the same. We then came together, and the early stages of our list was complete! Each partner is the expert on his or her own family/friends. Starting off this way (separately creating a list) was super helpful for us.
Starting your guest list is daunting- to say the least. By having a base of ‘musts’ you have painlessly gotten the ball rolling. Follow up by spending a few minutes a night (for about a week) and VOILA! You will have a guest list! It is not that overwhelming once you just begin…
…now tracking down addresses/getting people to RSVP? ….that’s another story…. 😉
3. If on the fence about inviting a guest- think big picture.
If you’re vacillating between inviting/not inviting someone, think about what type of relationship you foresee having with this person in years to come. Meaning: do you see this person playing a role in your future? If yes, absolutely invite them. If not, I think you know what to do.
Be warned, however. As I stated earlier, weddings can either make or break relationships, so be thoughtful when making these weighty decisions. Once again, check out my super helpful decision making diagram below:
SO there you have it. That was a LONG post, and I am out of breath.
If you made it to the end, you are a rockstar. I hope this helped anyone who wrote in with guest list questions. Next week we will be addressing ways to ball out- on a budget…wedding style. You’re going to love it. If you can dream it- you can do it. There is always a way to get a high end look- for less, and Ima help you do it, fam.
For future wedding posts, please continue to submit questions or personal experiences to firstname.lastname@example.org so they can be addressed soon!
Finally, I need to give a major shout out to my fiance, mom, future mother in law, sister, and bff. They are the glue that keeps me together, and I am infinitely blessed to be surrounded by so much love.
Ta ta for now….
So many showers lately- amiright?
I bet everyone reading this has been to at least one or two showers within the past few months. It’s wedding season,…baby season,…wait is that a thing!?..probz not…
…Anyway, my lovely aunt and cousins threw us the most gorgeous wedding shower. I am going to take the easy route on this post…and let the pictures do the talkin’ …enjoy!
…Seriously….the day was a dream (I wasn’t lying, pictures = proof!!!).
Friends and family joined us from near and far. It was so humbling to be surrounded by those who love and truly support us. Every single detail was perfection. We cannot believe that our wedding is less than 100 days away!
This post leads me into a wedding mini-series that I have been working on, and will be releasing next week. I have connected with many brides to help write this piece, and am thrilled to share it with you soon. Essentially… it navigates various ‘sticky situations’ that can occur during the wedding planning process, and how to handle them.
…wedding planning… AIN’T. EASY. Y’ALL.…
Whether you are planning a wedding or not…this relatable series is sure to have you giggling,…eye rolling,…and possibly even tearing up, too. Wedding planning brings out alllll types of emotions and behaviors.
Ultimately: no matter what you do,… or how contentious you are of one’s feelings,…. someone is going to get offended by your choices.
…And *spoiler alert* THAT’S OK.
For those of you who have submitted an email sharing your ‘sticky’ wedding situation, thank you! For those of you who haven’t… please do. Your privacy is completely respected, and up to your discretion when sharing your story.
Feel free to email me directly at email@example.com if you have a sticky situation to share. Get ready for some serious tea to be spilled, my loves…
Real talk ahead…stay tuned.
engaged. fiance. wedding. marriage. ring. venue. cake. dress. budget. AHHH…. so. many. words….all spinning around in my head!
let the planning begin!
Although we have been engaged for about two months now, I still am not used to using these words to describe my life. Getting engaged is such a happy and magical thing, but it does take your brain a little while to adjust to this surreal feeling…please tell me I am not alone…!
Let’s dive into the good stuff. Our beautiful engagement story begins with a memorable drive home. It was a Friday, and I’ll be honest,…although excited for the weekend,… I was tired, crabby, sweating, and HANGRY. My 45 minute commute had fully gotten the best of me, and I was less than pleasant… if we’re putting it lightly. I called my (now) fiance…yep, still feels weird saying that…on the phone, to complain about all of the above things. He sounded flustered, but I didn’t think much of it, because I was being an irritating pain.
After 1.5 hours of sitting in traffic, above irritations had turned into full blown rage. I stormed up the stairs to our apartment, opened the door, and was greeted by my sweet man on one knee holding flowers, along with the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. Nerves and joy spread across his face as he said, “Katie, will you marry me”? My jaw dropped, I was stunned, and my mood was instantly changed. I was seriously in full shock mode, I barely even squeaked out a ‘Yes’! *Side note: This ‘shock reaction’ phenomenon amazes me. We have lived together for a few years, tell each other everything, have thoroughly talked about getting married…how then, does a proposal illicit such a stunned reaction? This is fascinating to me because we both knew marriage was in our near future!!!
Right after he proposed, we danced around in our kitchen for a few minutes and then popped open a bottle of wine to celebrate! We quickly face-timed both sets of parents and they were equally as excited. My parents live about a half hour away, so we jumped in the car, and went over to celebrate together! That night we ordered in from our favorite spot, made a blazing fire outside, and truly relished the moment. What an imperfectly perfect day, I will cherish these memories always.